Music transcends time… in a couple of bars you will travel back in time, begin to dream about your future… This is fucking dumb. I haven’t got shit to say that would come across as nice or inspirational. I mean, my brain hasn’t had any good stimulation (aside from work) for nearly 3 years. I miss the riddles. I miss the deep ass conversations and the group soul searching sessions and the fierceness of friendships that have since been portrayed as toxic whilst I involuntarily lay the mortar for my resentment wall.  Jesus, bring back the star-filled nights by the fire pit or with the killer ocean views where we sat around and discussed how small and insignificant we actually are in this universe. The joy I currently find is in my mind, which has become a place I am far too comfortable remaining. I hide in my thoughts and long for equally meaningful connections for both parties involved. I relate to my dog, and his sad face and sometimes imagine he is a collection of reincarnated souls of the people I used to know… understanding and nonjudgmental human beings with flaws and passions that run just as freakin deep.

-written in the midst of mental chaos, delayed post

Until next time,

SES

3 Replies to “Blog fail.”

  1. Do you remember what song you were listening to that made you start to write this? Were traveling back in time, or were you dreaming of your future?

    Like

  2. Jlwhalen04,

    Swimming Home, by Evanescence. Likely Hello by the same… were the tracks that threw my mind into overdrive and yes. -Both traveling back and longing for my future simultaneously. When that was written, I was feeling mentally stifled and at the peak of what had been a sluggish, yet tactful, emotional massacre. In order to find enough strength to eventually regain peace of mind, I had to draw strength from who I used to be, and hope from who I am evolving into. The rage I felt while writing the post was rooted in pain and likely serenaded by many songs from the same Pandora Station… “Evanescence Radio.”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I had a feeling that might be the answer. If ever a song or band could have that affect on a person, it’s those. I’m glad you heard your name being called home and started to swim… after all, it’s not Rome to which all roads lead. It’s home.

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